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The mind can be a scary place if you haven't learned tools yet to stay grounded when life gets busy. Or if you've experienced something traumatic that you haven't been able to shake. Sometimes the mind runs circles of worry and doubt, or plays re-runs of our trauma and worst moments making it hard to sleep and seek out distractions.
So what do you do?
Read moreMy overall intent was to connect to Spirit and receive clarity. I journaled something for each of the directions and had prayers written out. Maybe I should have reread it more because honestly the heat made me forget all but my intent to connect to Spirit.
Read moreSomething amazing happened. Unknowingly, I took my first step onto the path laid out for me.
I was maybe 21 or 22 years old. I was married to someone who had been keeping big secrets from me since the very beginning. My heart knew something was off, but my head couldn't figure it out. Knowing that you're being lied to, but not having any proof or any reason to believe it is a tricky situation. I was in love. We were riding this roller coaster together. Big highs, and even bigger lows. Sometimes I felt like I was losing my mind. Like pieces of me were getting lost along the ride. I floated on.
I don't remember how I found it. But somehow I learned about a group of yoga teachers that taught all donation based classes outdoors. I found this great teacher and I went to her classes really regularly. Sometimes I was the only one who showed up. It was my therapy.
Those hours spent doing yoga in the park made me feel sane. They helped me see that there was so much more out there. And that it was okay to want more.
One day after asana practice she taught the group the chant to Ganesha. I had never chanted before. I had no idea who Ganesha was. I'd seen pictures of him before, but I never really knew who he was or what he represented.
She explained that Ganesha was the remover of obstacles. He is depicted with the head of an elephant and the body of a boy. His ears are large, for listening. His belly is large enough to digest any problems, any obstacles, anything that we can't stomach alone. He is often depicted riding a mouse, which symbolizes how light he is - free of any attachments to weigh him down.
Chanting felt... natural, but also other worldly all at once. I felt like this weight had been lifted. And it felt good.
Chanting opens up the most beautiful space around everything. This space is always there. Sometimes we forget because we're so focused on what's happening in our minds. When we chant, the sounds bring us back home to that space within.
After that very first chant to Ganesha, I had a strange almost out of body experience. Maybe not out of body, but certainly out of mouth. I went to the teacher after class to thank her and give a donation, and something strange came out of my mouth. I asked her where she trained to become a yoga instructor. I told her that I had been thinking of becoming one myself.
In fact, that thought had never crossed my mind. I felt like I had just lied to her. But to my surprise, she told me that she knew that I would do it. That I would become a yoga instructor. Her faith in me gave me faith in myself. I let the thought linger.
That night a friend of mine who is quite psychic read my tarot cards. The message could not be more clear. The cards told me that I was stepping onto my life path - the path of a healer. They told me to follow through with the thoughts that I had been having.
Sometimes signs are subtle. Sometimes they're so subtle that we may miss them. Other times, signs are neon
I missed my grandfather today. I wished he could've been here in Barcelona with me. To show me the places he knew. That were his.
I've always felt that Barcelona was mine. Not mine in a possessive sense. In the way that a certain style is yours, or a habit. Barcelona was mine.
But today I had that sense that he was missing. This city where he had grown up. Where he had lived. That was his. Here I was just reminiscing about every day I'd spent here, without him. Without him as a guide or a mentor. And now he was missing.
La Rambla de Catalunya, Barcelona
So humbled.
One of my students today shared with me after my chair yoga class that she cries in closing meditation every time. She lost her son to a car accident in January and she takes care of her sick husband at home. She has nowhere to cry. She hasn't been able to grieve.
I could see her pain. I could see her confusion. She almost wanted to stop coming so that she wouldn't cry.
Two other women noticed her crying and came over to comfort her. These are the two self appointed "chairmen" of the class (it's chair yoga, get it?). And it just made me realize what an amazing little tribe I have. They support each other, they laugh together, and for many of them that class is the highlight of their week. And the three of us just talked with her about what was going on and reminded her that it's okay to cry, and why it's healthy to cry.
We release things when we cry. When we bottle up emotions they cause tension in the body, and sometimes they can cause some very real harm.
Crying sets your pain free.
Human beings are not meant to carry the heaviness of emotions with us. We're meant to feel them. Process them. And then, let them go.
And in doing so, we set ourselves free.
So humbled.
One of my students today shared with me after my chair yoga class that she cries in closing meditation every time. She lost her son to a car accident in January and she takes care of her sick husband at home. She has nowhere to cry. She hasn't been able to grieve.
Two other women noticed her crying and came over to comfort her. These are the two self appointed "chairmen" of the class (it's chair yoga, get it?). And it just made me realize what an amazing little tribe I have. They support each other, they laugh together, and for many of them that class is the highlight of their week. And the three of us just talked with her about what was going on and reminded her that it's okay to cry, and why it's healthy to cry.
We release things when we cry. When we bottle up emotions they cause tension in the body, and sometimes they can cause some very real harm.
Crying sets your pain free.
This made me feel so grateful that I get to do this work and hold space for people. I get to be a part of their emotional healing journey.
I cant imagine devoting my life to anything else.
I've been wanting to write a blog about each of the chakras for a long time now, but not anything formal or even informative. I just wanted to write the first thing that comes to mind about each. What I've written below actually wrote itself yesterday. It's about creativity. Which is exactly what I think about when I think about the second chakra.
But first, a little about the second chakra.
The second chakra is the sacral chakra, or svadisthana. The element of the sacral chakra is water.
Flow. Movement. Emotion.
Amorgos Island, Greece
Imbalances here can show up as bottling emotions, or being overly emotional, intimacy issues, repressed sexuality, or issues with addiction. It can also show up as writer's block, loss of creativity, or a loss of authenticity
My svadisthana mantra is "Creativity flows through me like water." And some days it's, "I feel, I'm in touch with my emotions, I'm in touch with my sensuality."
So below is what I wrote yesterday about living a creative life. I felt like it was appropriate to share along with this. Hope you dig. :)
Writing can me to tears.
Reading about writers writing gives me butterflies. It's something that I know is mine. I can feel it in my blood. It rushes through my veins like words rush onto a page.
I feel this way about teaching yoga. Sometimes I feel this way about painting too.
You don't have to stick to one calling. You can have all the callings you care to. I nourish my inner creator every time I step on a yoga mat, every time I pick up a paint brush, every time I write.
Sometimes I feel like I don't do it enough but the truth is, I just do it when I feel inspired. And sometimes that's five times in one day and other times it's five times in one year.
The reason I'm writing this is because it asked to be written. But also because I want you to know that you have permission to create whatever your heart desires.
You have permission to become anyone or anything that you choose. You do not have to stick to the path you're on. As human beings we are truly blessed with the ability to create. And we do it every day. We create style when we get dressed. We create culinary art when we cook. We create so much more than we give ourselves credit for.
And that inner artist in you is begging to be recognized. Just to be acknowledged. Then maybe inspiration will flow to you too. And if it doesn't, just play. There is nothing wrong with making art that isn't "good", whatever that means. It's the process that counts, the journey if you will. The act of making the thing, not the thing itself that is important.
This is our gift.
To create. To be inspired. To play. To connect with our divine. Our inner creator.
This is the magic that exists within each and every one of us.
Whether you choose to accept the gift, or not is your choice.
This is a public promise to myself that I will write when I feel inspired. That I will paint when I need colour. I will move when my body asks me to move. I will live creatively, because it's the only way I can. This is my soul pledge.
This is a formal invitation to join the movement. There is enough room for all of us. There is enough inspiration to go around for everyone. Will you come create with us?
More and more people every day are experiencing stress. In fact I am constantly seeing articles online about the rise of stress related illness, and about the number of people who report feeling stressed at work or overwhelmed.
So what's causing this trend? And how do we start to reverse it?
The top three common sources of stress are money, work, and family responsibilities in that order. These are all real things that we have to deal with to be a functioning part of this world. Neither money nor work can actually be avoided, and I'd be willing to bet the same people who say that their family responsibilities are a source of stress still love their families and wouldn't want to avoid them.
So if we can't avoid stress, what's the solution?
This is not the part where I prescribe a cure all or say some magic words and render you stress-free. Sorry.
This is the part where I offer you a solution that works - but it takes a little effort on your part. Consider this a seven day stress relieving challenge.
Do some soul searching. When was the last time that you felt truly free? It probably wasn't the other day when you got stuck in your Facebook news feed for 25 minutes when you meant to just go in and send one message.
Maybe that was me. Oops. But maybe you've done the exact same thing. Or maybe you've spent six hours of your day binge watching Netflix. Recognize where your time is going. Ten minutes here and there, or a few hours a day may not seem like a lot right now but trust me the time adds up. This time is basically stolen from you.
Most people also don't feel particularly fulfilled after scrolling for half an hour or watching an entire season of something in a week. Usually once you finish that season, it's just like, what's next?
Do you know what two things rarely seem to go together? Stress and fulfillment. More on that later.
For day one, your task is to recognize where your time is going. Be radically honest with yourself. Take notes all day. Write down every time you open social media and how long you spend on it. Write down what shows you watched and how long you sat in front of a screen - this gets fun when you time how long each commercial is and find out how much time you're being fed advertisements.
Ideally you'll keep this time diary for the entire seven days. But getting one full day in will at least give you an idea of where your time goes.
Now that you have an idea of what is sucking up your time, it's time to make some decisions.
If you realize that over the course of one day, you spent an accumulated two hours of your time on the Facebook app, it may be time to delete the app. I'm not saying delete your account, just make it less easily accessible. Instead, give yourself 25 minutes at the end of the day to go through your news feed on your laptop or computer. Set a timer & stick to it.
Let go of the things that steal your moments.
The moments that make up your day are the moments that make up your life. Do you want to spend it scrolling?
Release the things that aren't bringing you bliss to create space for happiness to grow.
Create a gratitude practice.
One really simple way to do this is to keep a gratitude journal by your bed and write in it morning and night. In the morning, write down three things that you feel grateful for. And at night, write down three things that you are grateful for that happened that day.
Now I've already suggested that you keep a time diary for the week so if you're like, dude, I hate writing why are you making me write every day? Then another sweet way to practice gratitude is to do a daily gratitude meditation.
You can totally find guided gratitude meditations on the Mindbliss app, or on YouTube, or any site that has meditation videos. One of my favourite gratitude meditations actually comes from the Tim Ferriss podcast. This meditation with Tony Robbins is super short, 11 minutes total. It's an excerpt from their full podcast. The full episode is amazing if you're into listening to podcasts, but if not just do the short meditation piece.
Eventually gratitude becomes a habit. It is literally a muscle that you build up. Once that muscle is strong, you'll begin to feel gratitude spontaneously throughout the day. Maybe you'll feel grateful every time you feel the warm sun on your skin, or every time you see a flower. These are moments of beauty. Look at you, getting those moments back!
This is where we get into fulfillment. Each and every one of us has something that lights our soul up. I love this quote from Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, "The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them."
Today you're going on a treasure hunt.
Think back to the last time that you felt truly, blissfully, free. Maybe it was last month, maybe it was in childhood. We are all creative creatures. What was it that as a child you loved to do? Maybe you danced, or played sports, or ice skated, or made crafty things. Maybe you loved to tell elaborate stories, or sing, or color.
I was in love with art. I loved to sew Barbie clothes and draw and write poems. Now I know that as an adult I need to write and paint and make things to fulfill my inner creator. This is a non-negotiable. And when I neglect these needs, my inner creator turns into one of those hangry beasts from the Snickers commercials. Not cute.
Do you know what happens when you don't eat for a long time? At first there are regular signs of hunger like the stomach growling. But after some time those signs subside. It becomes a dull ache. Something that you learn to live with, to cope with. It becomes background noise. (Until eventually it becomes literally all you can think about)
Your jewels, your talents, your creative needs have always been there. But because the body doesn't physically need for you to create to survive, those needs become background noise. A dull ache, a feeling of emptiness. Something missing.
Stress & fulfillment cannot co-exist.
Find out what it is that would fulfill you. Maybe your jewel is listening to people. Beautiful, go volunteer at an elderly home and listen to the stories of their youth. Maybe your jewel is dancing. Beautiful, take a dance class once a week or make it a habit to go dancing once a week. Maybe your jewel is yoga. Beautiful, do it #everydamnday.
Make these things a priority.
What literally moves you? Movement is medicine. I've said it a thousand times and I'll say it another million. Movement is medicine.
Your body is built to move. It is not built for this world that we've created. It is built to climb, to run, to crawl, to dance. Your body should move in every way, every day.
But not everyone has time for that. So make it a point to move in some way every day. And make it a point to change the way that you move as often as you can.
Exercise releases endorphins. Simple. It relieves stress. But when we're stressed we don't think that we have time to exercise. When in reality, it would ease our suffering.
Often the thing that you resist is the thing that you need most.
If you are already a regular yoga practitioner, then change up your routine. If you're a dedicated Barkan method practitioner, then switch to a Budokon class instead. Just try something different - even Pilates or a bootcamp class. Nothing good grows from stagnation.
Overall, the most important thing here is to move.
Come back to the moment.
When you're stressed, your mind is not here. Your mind is probably trying to juggle all of the things on your plate and spinning in a vortex of repeating negative thoughts and worries.
So come back.
When you are at home or at work there is nothing stressful actually happening. You won't be eaten by a dinosaur. You won't be chased by a bear. It's all good. The problem is that it doesn't feel good in the mind. And your entire experience happens within the mind.
Try sitting or lying down and taking a slow scan of your body. Notice exactly how your body feels in this moment, starting from the bottoms of the feet and moving your way up to the scalp. Notice each and every muscle, every joint, notice the sensation of clothing on your skin, notice the surface that you're sitting or lying down on, notice the sensation of hunger or fullness in the belly. Get completely plugged in to your body.
And breathe.
Bring your awareness to your breath. Breathe deeply. Even if it's only for five minutes. Coming back to the moment will significantly reduce, if not eradicate your stress.
Do this every time you feel stressed. Every day if you have to. Until it becomes a reflex.
Do not let stress steal your moments. Live in the here & now.
Who's in charge? You? Or your thoughts? How do you take back control?
Medicate.
Just kidding. Meditate.
Become the observer.
Meditation helps you to train your brain to observe your thoughts, rather than attach to them. So when your head starts spinning with stressful thoughts, instead of getting caught up in them you observe them and let them pass.
Start a meditation practice. Start small, just five minutes a day. After five days, move up to six. And then add another minute every day until you make your way up to whatever amount of time you can set aside. Maybe that's 20 minutes once a day, or maybe that's an hour in the morning and an hour before bed.
I use the Mindbliss app for guided meditation, but you can meditate on your breath as well. They have meditation journeys that you can do which usually start as shorter amounts of time and gradually add a little time. Find one for stress relief!
Ananda Yoga Shala - where we'll be practicing on my Greece retreat!
I hope these stress relief lifestyle changes work for you! We will be going into all of these and more on my yoga retreat Awakening in Amorgos this August 19-26th! Pay your deposit by May 15th to save $200 off! Come ready to find true transformation and learn habits that you can take with you back home to lead a healthier, happier, stress-free life! I hope to see you on the island!
Starting with the Muladhara chakra, or root chakra. The first thing that comes to mind when I think of the root chakra is Ganesha. Ganesha is the Hindu god with the body of a man and the head of an elephant. The very first chant I ever learned was the chant to Ganesha. I cried that very first time, without quite knowing why. It opened up something in me. That same night I found my spirit animal. Ganesha is also the lord of beginnings. It seems fitting that the chant to Ganesha would be my first chanting experience.
I've chanted to Ganesha countless times since then. Sometimes joyfully, sometimes choking on tears every other syllable. The reason I think of Ganesha when I think of this chakra is because he is the ruler of the Muladhara chakra. "He guards the gate to the pelvic floor" as MC Yogi puts it. He is the remover of obstacles, depicted with an axe to cut through the delusions/illusions or maya of this world. He has a big belly, able to digest all of life's problems. He's also a child god, created by Shakti. I love the story of the birth of Ganesha. Hinduism is rich with elaborate and magical stories.
To understand the birth of Ganesha, it's important to first understand Shiva & Parvati.
Shiva is the great creator. He dances universes into existence. And Parvati is the mother of the universe. Shiva would often leave for months at a time, dancing in the forests as Nataraja. One day while Shiva was away, Parvati created a statue of a boy out of some clay. He was so lifelike that she decided to give him life. She named him Ganesha. She grew quite fond of him and treated him like her own son. One day she asked Ganesha to stand guard at the door of the palace while she went to take a bath. While Parvati was in the bath, Shiva came back home. Ganesha, following orders and not having met Shiva, wouldn't allow Shiva to come in. Shiva was enraged, and asked his soldiers, the Gunas, to move him out of the way so that he could enter his own home. Each of the Gunas tried, but Ganesha stood his ground. He would not allow Shiva to pass. Shiva grew so angry that he lost his temper and killed the boy, chopping off his head. Parvati heard the fighting and came back to see her now lifeless son. Her rage was greater than Shiva had ever witnessed. She threatened to destroy everything in creation. Brahma, the Creator, took issue with this and pleaded with her to stop. She agreed not to destroy the universe on two conditions; one, that her son be brought back to life, and two, that he become a god worshiped forever above all other gods. Shiva agreed and quickly found a replacement head, the head of an elephant. Ganesha received the name Ganapati which means leader of the Gunas.
The chant to Ganesha is simple, Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha. Om is the universal sound. Gum is the bija mantra, or seed sound of the root chakra. Ganapataye is the formal name given to Ganesha. And Namaha means I invoke you.
Click this link to hear Wah's version of the Ganesha mantra on Spotify.
This chant not only taps into root chakra energy, but it also expresses a willingness to release attachment and a little prayer to help remove obstacles. Happy chanting!
Grand Canyon
I believe in challenging the status quo. I believe that we are meant to feel good all of the time. I believe our bodies are fucking magical and strong and made for so much more than just sitting at a desk. I believe inner strength should be developed just as much as outer strength. I believe a body that is nourished, taken care of, and balanced will heal itself. I believe in taking the time to imagine the life that you want to live and then doing the work to create it. I believe in people. And movement. And bliss.
This is why I teach yoga. Because the things that I've received from this practice are too good not to share. Because I genuinely love people and I want to see them transform into the best versions of themselves. There is this spark in people. You can see it in their eyes when they're determined. You can see them light up from the inside. And yoga brings that out. You see it when people surprise themselves. When they do something for the first time or feel something for the first time. It's beautiful.
Our world, this artificial environment that we've created, doesn't allow people to explore their bodies or their minds the way that we're meant to. We were made to move in every possible way. And yet so many people get stuck sitting for hours on end. We were made to imagine and dream and create. And yet so many people use their minds to think at work and then turn them off at night with the click of a remote.
I believe that travel is necessary. This planet is too big and beautiful not to explore. Each time we experience a new culture, our worldview broadens just a bit more. We get to question what we've become used to. And that allows us to change. Travel gives us these moments of presence, and wonder, and bliss. It inspires us to live in the moment. To just be.
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I am so excited to be hosting a retreat this summer on the beautiful Greek island of Amorgos. The retreat is seven days of exploring both the outside world, and the world inside of our own hearts. I hope you'll join me on the island! Please don't hesitate to contact me with any questions! Click the link here to register for the retreat! Pay your deposit before April 1st and save $300 off!
Amorgos Yoga Shala, Greece
Ten days ago I challenged myself to meditate twice a day for 7 days. I have not had a regular meditation practice in the past and I have always known that I needed one. I used to think I didn't have time or a good space to meditate - I had a lot of excuses. Those excuses seemed really valid at the time. I had this image of myself in my head with tons of free time and a beautiful meditation cushion in a spare room with crystals, a bronze statue of the Buddha, and palo santo burning. So not necessary. I meditate right next to my bed. Sitting on a yoga block, nothing fancy. When I have time, I meditate for 20+ minutes and when I don't, I meditate for ten. Simple. I do find that I am easily distracted so for me I need something to listen to or mala beads to keep me focused. I used guided meditations from the Mindbliss app and just put headphones in.
I don't think I've changed much in the past week but there are a few little changes that I've noticed. When I wake up feeling hungry or sleepy, if I meditate right away that hunger and sleepiness subsides. I have been making myself a little ginger tea, apple cider vinegar concoction (it doesn't exactly taste good but it's healthy!), and while I wait for that to cool down (procrastinate drinking it?) I do my morning meditation. I don't know if meditation makes my hunger go away or if it's the anticipation of drinking vinegar, but somehow it works. (**Side note: I have been intermittent fasting so when I first wake up I don't eat right away and the hunger struggle is real**)
Another thing I've noticed is that my meditation practice is different every day. The first three days I felt myself totally blissing out quickly, but then other days I would fidget and check the time and overall struggle. I've seen this in my yoga practice but it never occurred to me that this was also true in meditation. I am slowly teaching myself to be more compassionate to myself on those fidgety days and I'm doing my best not to get attached to the blissed out days. Nothing is permanent.
The last thing that I became more aware of has been my emotions. Lately I've been (mostly) seeing my emotions as they bubble up, rather than having a reaction and then noticing the emotion. I still react even when I can see that it's just an emotion/thought, but there is a little space now between the moment I see that emotion rise and the moment that I react to it. My work then is to make that space a little larger. My intention is to see thoughts and emotions as they arise and then mindfully choose how I will respond. I am actively practicing this when I drive. Driving in Florida can be exceptionally frustrating, and since I've lived here I've developed my own little strain of road rage. There's a whole lot of "really?!"s and "could you not?"s. But it isn't doing me any good, so I aim to change that. Because changing my perspective is a lot easier than explaining to everyone in my state how I would and would not like them to drive to suit my needs.
So to wrap it up, if you don't already have a meditation practice I highly recommend starting one! If you need somewhere to start check out the Mindbliss app! Let me know in the comments what type of meditation you like to practice, and if you don't meditate let me know why not!
Still feeling the energy from this past full moon in Leo and lunar eclipse. Things are happening, things are changing. Eclipses are like opening a gateway. They totally shift the flow of things until the next eclipse. Change is always for the better, even if it doesn't feel that way.
I was lucky to hold a Reiki circle on the night of the full moon eclipse with six women. There was definitely a divine feminine energy in the room. The Reiki felt so powerful I could literally feel it swirling through me so much so that my body swayed with it. It felt like a surge. My dreams ever since have been so strange, vivid, and have seemed so real.
The next eclipse is in August, which is the same month as my retreat in Greece. I feel like for me this shift was into a make-it-happen lioness kind of energy, and the next one will be very much a harvest and enjoy the fruits of my labour kind of vibe. Leo deals with career and money. It is very much a high energy, get things done, and financial flow kind of sign. After Reiki, I usually like to vibe out and become one with the couch, take a bath, or just do something chill. But after this particular circle I got home and started journaling, writing, getting my act together. Totally not typical. This shift couldn't have come at a better time. Forever grateful for divine timing.
If you've been feeling this moon share your story in the comments! And if you're interested in coming to Greece either leave me a comment, or email me at yogawithadriana@gmail.com!
Wishing you all a transformative moon cycle! 🌙🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔⭐️💫💛
Ardha Chandra Chopasana
One summer I started a journey that would change my life completely. I was 24, freshly divorced, and I had no clue what I was doing. I planned to go away for three months. I grossly over packed.
This was my first solo trip overseas. In fact it was my first solo trip anywhere. I wouldn't be alone the entire trip though, my sister was meeting me halfway through the trip in London.
La Rambla, Barcelona 2014
The first three days I spent wandering Barcelona in search of my soul. Enjoying this new freedom I'd never felt before. I walked the familiar streets I'd visited before, and some new streets I'd missed in previous trips. Streets where my grandfather grew up, where my mother spent so much of her youth, where I would put my pieces back together and learn to feel whole in solitude. And just as I had started to get my bearings and feel at home again in Barcelona, I flew off to Sevilla.
It was very hot waiting outside at the airport in Sevilla. The heat was dry, just like my home in the desert. I was sitting on a bench waiting to be picked up, listening to pieces of conversations in Spanish. I saw a girl in yoga pants, with a yoga mat. She looked like a hippie and was clearly doing the training with me. We started talking and became fast friends. We'd later discover we were roommates and our nickname throughout training would become "the twins".
Kayaking in Tajo del Aguila
Each morning was spent in silence. We were up before the sun and silently we would make our way to the yoga shala for morning meditation. Meditation was difficult for me. I hadn't yet developed a sitting practice. I learned to listen. I would listen to the animals outside, the chickens, the cats, the dogs, the peacocks, the horses. I heard them all. I could hear sounds in the kitchen and the occasional buzzing of bees. The silence was never truly silent. After meditation we would take a short break and then come back to the room for an energizing yoga practice. Sometimes practice was an hour and a half, sometimes longer. Each day I grew stronger. Each day I learned a new pose I had never before attempted. Each day I was surprised.
Suryalila Retreat Centre, Villamartin, Spain
Finally we broke the silence in our breakfast groups. At first these groups felt like just a fun way to get to know people. But as training went on I understood that truly these groups were a form of therapy. Within a week I was sharing pieces of my soul with complete strangers over tea each morning. It was with this group of new friends that repressed memories from my youth came back to me. I pieced together a part of my story that I didn't understand with people who I had only just met. I know it sounds cheesy, but I found myself again. It was such a relief to finally understand why I had so much pain in my heart, why I had acted out and rebelled so much as a teenager. It all made sense. I gained a renewed sense of purpose and I finally began my healing journey. A journey that I am still on.
Ruins near Suryalila
I remember walking through the hills, hiking to the tallest peaks, climbing through untouched ruins overgrown with tall grass and wildflowers without ever knowing what used to stand there. I remember roaming through endless fields of sunflowers, exploring the countryside, and making connections that I still hold close in my heart. I remember cool mornings walking barefoot across the property in the dark. I remember the sweat that dripped onto my mat, and the feeling of tears streaming up my face into my hair in wheel pose.
This training didn't just teach me the names of poses in Sanskrit, or the history of yoga, or anatomy, or how to meditate. I learned the truth of who I am. Parts of myself that had been hidden finally came to the surface. I discovered my own path. I began a healing process that I didn't quite know I needed. This was my beginning. This was my rebirth.
Hello, World!
I am back home for Thanksgiving and I am feeling oh so thankful. I wrote down a gratitude list of a few things I'm grateful for right now. Gratitude practice is linked to feeling more grateful spontaneously - and the most grateful people are also the happiest. One of my teachers once said that gratitude is the fast track to happiness. It's true. When you pause and just think about all that you have to be grateful for, any heaviness that you may have been feeling just drifts away. I always feel so much lighter and better when I remember these things. I encourage you to keep a gratitude journal, or write a gratitude list, or even write a thank you letter that you may or may not send out. This is my gratitude list:
Tell me something you're grateful for in the comments!
Today we got some harrowing news. My first reaction was fear and sadness. I felt betrayed by my country. But this isn't about me. This is about all of us together. Those who voted for Trump voted out of fear. Many Trump supporters may be racist, or sexist, or xenophobic but I guarantee not all are. It's not okay to just group them all into one basket, we all have our reasons. Many of these people have experienced economic hardship and they don't know what to do. They look to him for change because they are afraid. I can't pretend to understand it fully and I certainly don't support it but I do see where it comes from. I'm afraid too. Afraid for what the future will look like. It's as though we took two steps (terms) forward, and now we're taking ten steps back. How many more steps backward will we blindly take before falling off the edge?
We have to remain hopeful. We have to believe in love and keep our faith in humanity. It's hard to see the light, but we have to trust the process and trust that the universe has our back. Maybe it's time for a total revolution? Who knows?
As a woman, a Latina, first generation immigrant, and a sexual assault survivor, I took this news pretty hard. My grandparents left Cuba as political refugees with my infant mother. They left the country before it turned to total communism. Many people supported Castro when he was first coming into power. They were led to believe that they would have democracy. He was very persuasive at first. I believe many people are swayed by Trump in the same way. Hitler captivated people who were afraid as well. These leaders spoke to their fears and their blind patriotism. I believe Trump is speaking to that same part of people. I'm not saying he's going to become a totalitarian leader or start another genocide, I'm only saying that he's used similar tactics.
Trump is just a symptom of that fear. We have to treat the root cause. What are we collectively afraid of? And what is the remedy? The only cure I know for fear is love. Unconditional, boundless love. The political party system separates us. Countries separate us. Religion separates us. We need to come together as a global community.
A few years ago I was in Barcelona in this park called Parc de la Ciutadella. I was climbing around and playing on this cool art installation that I thought was probably meant to be climbed on since it was in a park. This homeless woman was nearby making these giant bubbles, like human sized ones using two sticks with a string tied between them. She came over and yelled, "See, now you're breaking the law!" She told me how ridiculous it was that I could be fined for climbing on this structure. I think she was also probably trying to warn me a bit assuming I didn't realize I could get fined. We started talking about everything from politics to religion to how countries divide us. My friend asked her what nationality she was, she sounded British but we weren't sure. She got very animated and exclaimed, "I'm Globish!"
I loved that answer. And honestly that's all we all are. What country we comes from means nothing in the end. This Universe is vast and ever expanding. We are one global community, whether we act like it or not. I believe we will come together and I believe that the future is brighter than it appears right now.
Today I am imagining a better world. I'm imagining a world where we come together as one... "Imagine there's no countries. It isn't hard to do. Nothing to kill or die for. And no religion too. Imagine all the people living life in peace."
Christiania, the free town in Copenhagen.
I am more than excited for autumn... and it's not just because of pumpkin everything. Although, yes.
Green Park, London
Autumn is the season of letting go. As the air gets cooler, the leaves will change and eventually fall. Each tree lets go of a piece of themselves. Unafraid of change. Unafraid of having to reinvent themselves, or of feeling naked and vulnerable in the process of that change. This is the perfect time for you to truly dig deep and ask yourself, what am I holding on to? What part of me can I let go of to create space for ________? Fill in the blank.
If you want new love, make space for that person in your life. If you want a new job, clear out time in your day for phone calls and interviews. Manifest it. But give it room to grow.
Medicine Wheel in Sedona,AZ
In Native American cultures, many ceremonies begin with the ritual of Calling in the Directions. The West, the North, the East, and the South. Each of these directions has a corresponding element, animal, energy, and season. Autumn belongs to the West. The setting sun. Each and every day we let go of the sun. Knowing it will come back to us in the East. Fall corresponds with water. We use water not only to nourish us, but to wash ourselves clean. Washing away our old habits, all of which no longer serves us. The animal of the West is the snake. Snake sheds her skin continually. Leaving behind the cells that she outgrows. Snake leaves the past behind without looking back, lamenting, or questioning. Snake medicine is powerful. The snake is the symbol of medicine in many different cultures, including Western medicine. Our skin cells are constantly multiplying and shedding all at once, without us noticing. When it comes to parting ways with remnants of our past however, like old clothes or old photos, we often cling to things as if when we let them go, the memories we associate with them will fade away too. But Snake shows us not to force it. She glides right through the now hollow cast of herself. Teaching us not to be afraid of parting ways with the past. Slither on towards the setting sun. Aho.
Below is a simple cleansing meditation to help you get ready for fall. Give yourself plenty of time, but at least twenty minutes will do. Find a nice quiet space. Maybe some of your favorite ambient music. You can do this alone, or with a loved one or two. For this meditation you will need some water, and if you have some sage, or palo santo I highly recommend burning it throughout your meditation for cleansing. If not, lighting a candle or incense would be nice, but it's not necessary. (Unless it's a pumpkin spice scented candle and then yes, it's necessary.)
Begin by creating a space for you to meditate. Burn sage or palo santo if you have some. Maybe set out your favorite crystals. Get comfortable. Begin by setting a clear intention. Write down one thing that you must let go of. Whether it's your perfectionism, your fear, something from your past, you decide. Write it down on a small piece of paper. Crumple up that piece of paper and set it aside. Now write down three things that you are creating space for. It can be as simple as love, friendship, or just more space. Or it could be as specific as a new place to live or new job. Set this paper aside.
Now comes the water part of the meditation. If you are doing this meditation alone you can make your water ritual a bath or shower. Wash away whatever it is that you are releasing this fall. If you are doing this meditation with others, a bowl of water is fine. Add some flower petals in the water to make it feel more ritualistic. Each of you will dip your hands in the water and symbolically cleanse away that which no longer serves you. Either in your bath or shower, or with your hands in the bowl of water, face West and repeat the mantra, "I release." Repeat the mantra 5-10 times, or for the duration of your bath or shower. Take the crumpled piece of paper on which you wrote down the thing you are releasing and soak it with water, either in your bath, shower, or in the bowl of water.
After you've finished the water portion, sit down to meditate, preferably facing West. Repeat the mantra "I release" as you exhale. And as you inhale, repeat the mantra "I receive." Keep in mind what you are releasing and what you are receiving (the three things you wrote down). Meditate for as long as you'd like 5-20 minutes is fine.
Finally, take your soaked crumpled piece of paper and try to read what you wrote down. The words will likely be illegible. Washed away from the paper. And symbolically, washed away from you. Keep the piece of paper where you wrote down 3 things that you are creating space for in your wallet until the winter solstice.
I'm currently participating in a writing course and this came from a writing prompt that asked me to write about a "lifegiving activity". So I wrote about yoga.
I set down the little piece of burning wood in an incense holder. Its fragrant smoke fills the air and fills me with serenity. I roll out my mat and sit down. Before closing my eyes I catch a sparkle from a piece of amethyst, one of the crystals I set out for today. I sit with palms facing up, to receive. The music is soft, melodic, and the words in a language I don’t fully understand. I feel my spine stack and my shoulders soften away from my ears. I feel the weight of my hips releasing into the mat. Letting go. I need this. After some time has passed, my hands come to my heart in prayer, anjali mudra. There is this rush of emotion, this connection. I reach my arms to the sky, sending out my intention to the universe. Hoping. Wishing. Being. My body starts to move. Twisting, turning, folding, opening. I leave my eyes closed to feel. Every muscle, every joint, every part of me. Parts of me that before were numb or sleepy, are now alive with sensation. I breathe into it. My breaths are deep, slow, intentional. It feels so good to breathe. It feels so good to move. Gratitude swells in my heart. I let my body decide where to go and let my mind rest. No need for planning. No need for analyzing. There is medicine in each and every movement. There is healing happening within my heart. This is connection. Real connection. I feel rooted into my own body. Grounded in the postures. As if this is what my body was created for. Like these postures are some ancient code I’ve punched in to unlock...something. I’m not sure what I’ve unlocked. But I know whatever it is, it’s changed me. And I can’t imagine being without it. Finally, my practice has come to an end. I lie down in savasana, corpse pose. I don’t feel like a corpse. My body tingles and I feel blood pulsing through my body. But there is stillness. My body is deeply at rest, yet so alive. I realize what I’m feeling is my soul. Slowly I bring my body back to life. I move into fetal position. Rebirth. I come back to where I began, seated with hands at my heart. I bow to my practice, to myself. Recognizing my connection to the divine, my connection to the Earth, recognizing my own mortality. Then I get up. I roll up my mat, turn off the music. And I take with me only a little spark of divine light.
Two souls float about the ether. Wandering gently through space and time.
Read more“The more a man knows about himself in relation to every kind of experience, the greater his chance of suddenly, one fine morning, realizing who in fact he is...
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No need for drama or stress. Get real with yourself the next time you're feeling angry or anxious. Where does it come from? Is it helpful? Can you find a better way to deal? I know when I have too much energy I need power yoga, and if I don't get that energy out it makes me all kinds of irritable. I know if my diet is subpar, I won't have enough energy - and then I need yin yoga and green juice. Get to know your body. What works for me may not work for you. What you read in one study about health will completely contradict another study. Get curious about what fuels you, what makes you feel good. And what doesn't. Your body is probably easier to understand than you think - as long as you're fully present and aware of the subtle cues your body gives you.
If you've never read Alduos Huxley's Island, I suggest reading it. And if you haven't read Brave New World, read that one first. Island is his response to Brave New World, decades after writing it. In Island, Huxley creates a utopian society that exists on an island where mynah birds fly about calling "Attention!" and "Here and Now!" to remind the island dwellers to stay present. Meanwhile, the rest of the world lives as we do, money driven and confused. The things this utopian society does can be incorporated into our lives to create a healthier, more sustainable way of life. In fact, this was the last novel Huxley wrote and it almost feels as though he wrote this last book as a blueprint for how he felt society could best flourish. You don't have to agree with everything in the book to realize that he had a lot of things right.
I encountered this book when I first started exploring my spirituality. I was raised Catholic, turned atheist/agnostic, and was just beginning to re-entertain the possibility of something greater than myself. This came in the form of Buddhism, Hinduism, Christian Mysticism, you name it. Wherever you happen to be on your path, you'll get something of value out of this book. But I happen to believe that you can get something of value out of every moment, every conversation, every piece of music. If you're open to it.
There is something really liberating about realizing other people struggle just like you. Have stress at work, just like you. Have off days, just like you. Have days when they feel grumpy for no reason, just like you.
No one has a perfect life, though social media may lead you to believe they do. Everyone has ups and downs. There is value in the downs, maybe even more so than the ups. Very seldom have I learned a great lesson from a perfect day. It's always the moments of pain that teach us how to attain peace - if we're willing to listen. When we lean into the pain, explore it, really allow ourselves to feel it and be in it, only then can we unravel it. I've never heard of someone solving a puzzle by pushing it far away from themselves. And I've never heard of someone truly recovering from suffering by bottling their pain.
In so many ways, our afflictions are like a puzzle. There is always a solution, and there is always a lesson to be learned. It may take years, decades even to learn what we need to learn. But each time we realize something, we grow a little bit. Have you ever felt upset about something and then laughed at yourself because it was so trivial? What if every time you experienced suffering, you later realized that it was just trivial? I'm not enlightened, but I imagine enlightenment must feel like this major realization that nothing needs to be suffered over. Every time you start to feel upset, ask yourself, "In one year will I still be upset about this?" Ask again, "In 5 years will I still be upset over this?" "What about in 10 years?" Create some space around it. And maybe you'll realize that it's not worth the stress. But if you find that in one year, this problem will still be causing you suffering...it's time to find a solution.
So, how do you find a solution to suffering? Is this the part where you push it deep down and try to forget it exists while it slowly eats away at you? Hopefully not. Hopefully this is the part where you lean into it. Explore it. Go deeper. Depending on what you're dealing with, this might be the part where you admit that there's something wrong, and you seek out help from a professional. It might be the part where you decide it's time to talk about it, maybe just with a friend. The brain processes thoughts differently than it processes conversations. Which is why sometimes just saying something out loud can give you fresh insight and help you to create a soltuion. There is no perfect answer for how to stop suffering. But if you're willing to do the work, if you're willing to dig deeper, then you may be able to find some inner peace.
“In the end, only three things will have mattered: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”
breathe. love. namaste.